Ahhh...the first test is finished!

This past week was the first really stressful week. We had our first pathology test this thursday so the entire week it loomed like a cloud in the distance and before I knew it I was handing it in. I am always amazed at how much test taking anxiety I have before even a simple quiz..so tests are usually an emotional roller coaster. I am enjoying the fact that the semester is going by quickly and that I am already learning so much. I am always praying for time to fly and it seems to trudge along until the week of a test when I wake up monday morning and go to bed friday night all in the same day.

Weeks like this I feel really bad for Dods and Lady. They have both been so supportive. Dods went out really late and brought me home a milkshake the other night when I was up studying. He amazes me sometimes. I am so thankful I married a night owl because he's up all night just like I am. I usually have to tell him "ok, it's time for bed"! Lady supports me by sleeping next to me while I study in my little study nest that is the guest bed, every now and then she will sigh to let me know that it is really getting late.

The test went well, I wouldn't say great, but I definitely passed and am expecting a low A or a B. The questions I didn't know I didn't have a clue about, and the one's I knew I really knew. Luckily there were more of the latter. I was the second to finish my test after I had checked over it 3 times, so I feel like that was a good sign that I knew my stuff.

My friends are so supportive. I am thankful that I have a group of friends already in San Anonio who know exactly what I"m going thru and what I'm working toward. Emily and Taylor are the two closest that sit on either side of me in class every day and Taylor drops me off after class because I"m too lazy to walk sometimes. We have formed a monthly dinner party with Taylor & Tim(her husband), Shannon & John, and Dods & me. Emily tagged along this month and we had so much fun with her there that I think she will become a permanent fixture as well. The guys seem to get along great and they all seem to have a lot in common. They don't mind us girls talking over PA stuff and we all get a good laugh about the fact that they are our guinea pigs at home.

Next week looks a bit brighter but it will he hectic from here on out. Pray for my brain that it gets bigger because I know I need to fit a lot more in there and I don't want any to leak out.

"You will kill someone if you mess this up!"

It seems like the subject matter we are reaching is becoming more and more vital so in almost every class we heard "Please don't forget this because someone will die if you do...and it will be all your fault." another favorite phrase is "do this and you WILL be sued!" It's funny how much more you commit to memory when you know that the consequences are so extreme. In every class I have taken up to this point I was stressing to get the A and move on, not I am stressing more about how much I am actually retaining so that I don't kill someone by doing something stupid someday. It is also becoming very clear how frail human life can be. It doesn't take much to really hurt somebody, and I am thinking more and more about the power doctors and health care professionals have over life on a daily basis. One think that sustains me is knowing that the teachers aren't always right when they say "it's all in your hands", because I know that everything is in God's hands. I just pray that He guides me as I make those life-altering decisions and that He uses me as His vessel to show others who controls the power of life. This is a stressful week. There are things due in every class and our first major test is on Thursday. Pray for retention...I need to get back to work and stop procrastinating now:)

Things are getting sticky!

Well we are a little over a month into school and we are just now beginning to feel the pressures of being here. Everyone I talk to is behind in something, including myself. If you spend a night catching up on one thing then you automatically put yourself behind in something else. Sometimes I wish I could slow time way down just to be able to catch up on everything, but then I'm also already very much looking forward to graduation so I want it to go by quickly. I am loving everything I'm learning, especially in my patient evaluation class. We are learning right now how to take histories and do physical exams, and it feels like I"m finally doing what I"m supposed to be doing...even though all of it is just for pretend right now. I will say that it is true what they say about you turning into a hyperchondriac when your studying medicine. We were learning all about skin cancers this week and now I am convinced that I have cancer and so does everyone I know...and we will all die quickly because we didn't catch it in time. Dods has been a great sport and has allowed me to examine all of his moles and wierd skin spots and I have made him do the same to me. He has also been a great support of my study times, making dinner, cleaning up, doing some of the grocery shopping, fetching me milkshakes and staying up until all hours of the night with me. I"m blessed to have someone helping me thru all of this. I'm loving every minute of it...but I"m tired:)

I've only been in school for 2 weeks but I have learned more in those 2 weeks than months of undergrad....so things are moving along quickly. I am studying about 6 hours a night, but am keeping up nicely (as far as I know) with the reading so the hours are worth it. It is so nice to be learning things I am interested in and that I know will stay with me in my career as a PA. The best thing about school is the students. Everyone is very helpful and we all want the others to succeed so there is not any competition between us, which is a breath of fresh air compared to med school and law schools where the students are vying for position and rank. Dods and I are doing great but are already feeling the stress of not seeing eachother as often as we would like. Our place in San antonio doesn't quite feel like home becuase we still don't have many friends in this city, instead it feels more like a place we are staying until we can go home. I feel guilty draging him away from the city he loves just to be with me while I'm persuing my dreams. I'm sure we will switch places in 3 years. I know I"ll look back then and think this thing went by so quickly, but for right now it feels like an eternity of late nights and early morning classes. I really miss my family.